Tales from the F train

I can't stand the "F" train. I don't know if it's because it has such a long route or what it is that makes it so attractive to Riff Raff and his friends.

10am queens bound train
Enter the "tear jerking" beggar...
"Ladies and Gentlemen please forgive me for begging but I have no place to go. I have 6 kids and nothing to feed them. Anything you can spare would help."Yeah right! Try handing her that extra banana you were going to have as a snack and watch the look you get...they want them dollaz!

4pm headed back on the train toward Manhattan...home of the hustlers, a step up from the beggars.
A "deaf" man enters passing out sign language cards. Flip them over and they explain how he is making his living educating the public on the deaf. Where is the educational piece? It's simply a two sided piece of paper, one side the sign language alphabet, the other side with his explanation of begging. All you did was throw your cards at the supposedly uneducated train passengers and expect them to buy them at "any" price. What a lazy and unoriginal hustle! I remember back in the late 80s and 90s when people would pass out these sign language cards, as a kid I thought they were cool until the person would return looking for a dollar and I would be forced by my grandmother to give it back....Thanks but no thanks, I'll keep my dollar!

The deaf act is followed shortly by the desperate act. This one doesn't even bother to put in ANY effort. He is just straight dirt and grime. He shamelessly walks through the car in his get up of rags accessorized only by the garbage bag dragging behind him and coffee cup to collect change. He is cloaked in an original odor that only someone if his caliber could stir up. He doesn't bother with any speeches or plugs... Just a dirty old coffee cup to serve as his guide through the car full of disgusted and unsympathetic New Yorkers who have seen this all too often. I'm definitely keeping my change...and holding my breath!

Ugh, what will tomorrows train ride bring? Stay tuned for my Subway Series of Unfortunate Events...