Beyonce to Play Etta James

What would this blog be without a little bit of hate...

No your eyes aren't deceiving you, B is looking a little plump. She has put on 15lbs to take on her role as the living musical legend, Etta James in the upcoming flick, "Cadillac Records." As if dream girls wasn't enough... she's at it again. Just couldn't settle with someone else taking her shine. Unfortunately much of the buzz surrounding this movie is because Beyonce is in it, but by no means is she the star. The film chronicles the rise and fall of Chess Records in Chicago during the 50's & 60's. The label brought many greats like Muddy waters, Etta James and Chuck Berry to fame. Oscar Winner Adrien Brody stars as Leonard Chess, the man responsible for Chess records, while Cedric the Entertainer plays one of the songwriters on the label. Gabrielle Union plays the devoted woman of one of Muddy Waters. Mos Def stars as Chuck Berry, of which I am sure he will put on a good performancee. However I can't say the same for B's portrayal of Etta. Can you honestly see Princess B embodying a woman who went through much stress and strife due to drugs and alcohol? I'm skeptical. Would it have been too much to try out someone new...Keyshia Cole maybe? Keyshia's life story would give her a personal place to pull from in order to display hardships Etta had with drugs and alcohol, not to mention a deep & soulful voice... just a thought.

I'm sure that by now you have either heard the new singles or heard some buzz about Beyonce's new album I AM ....SASHA FIERCE due out in November. Once again B is telling us how playing Etta James has helped her to really dig deep within herself and ...blah blah blah...and how it helped her to create this latest album. In an MTV interview she says

"Lyrically, it's deeper than what I've done before," the 27-year-old singer said. "I wasn't mature enough or old enough, or in touch with myself enough, to do this type of album before. I didn't have the guts."

WHAT! Have you heard the single, "Single Ladies"? With lyrics like "if he likes it than he's sure to put a ring on it" You gonna tell me that's deep, with the tap dance recital video to match. Now obviously I like B and respect her work...but I think it's time for her to sit down and take a little bit of a rest. She should take note from Alicia. Take some time off so as to truly be able to put out some quality work. I love B and admire her drive...but I hate to see her do this foolishness.

Facebook Ruins Relationships

The key to saving a relationship is to get off facebook. That shit ruins lives. If I hear one more person say “Unless you're dating on Facebook, it is not official,” I’m going to tell them about themselves. That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. Frankly, I think a relationship is more real if it’s not on Facebook because you’ll probably have a better chance of making it work and heaven forbid ya'll break up, you won't have the whole world in your shit. Facebook is the perfect tool for stalkers. I’ve deactivated my account for numerous reasons (those stalkers get all up in people’s biz), but I hear people talk about it all the time. This one girl I know was dating someone for a month when he added her as his girlfriend on Facebook. Her “in a relationship with (insert name here)” bar was not visible although she accepted the invite that he sent her. He got really mad about it, removed her from his relationship bar and a week later they broke up. That’s really just a case of bitchassness and bitchassness is getting even more prevalent in the community, make no mistake [blog on that coming soon.] People can’t even get poked anymore without a significant other seeing that shit and getting upset. In any case, the top three reasons for conflict concerning relationships and friendships, in my opinion, are listed below:

1. The Facebook wall- this is the worst weapon of all. Plain and simple. People write some really reckless shit that you would rather not have the world see. And aside from that, there are some really jealous people out there. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard “who are all of those guys/girls who are always writing on my girl’s/man’s wall…wtf.” This is also a really popular one: “Oh hell no, so you had time to be writing on so-and-so’s wall, but you were too busy to call me last night??” I CANT wit that shit though…smh
2. Do you remember that first day that Facebook introduced the mini-feed and no one knew how to turn it off? Madd relationships were obliterated that day lmao. People got caught OUT there. It got so bad that Zuckerman had to send out a message letting everyone know how to access their privacy settings to customize exactly what they wanted/didn’t want people to see. Everyone knew who was in a relationship with whom, who broke up and when, who was writing on who’s wall, who was commenting on what pics…it was a crazy/funny day. I think we all knew a little more about each other that day than we cared to lol
3. Don’t have pictures tagged to your account. I have witnessed many a conversation that went something like this “so where did you say you were Saturday night? Oh really? Cause I remember you saying you were too busy to go out with me, but on FACEBOOK, I see you tagged in madd pics at (insert name here)’s party.” You already see where that is going…Pictures are dangerous cause even if you don’t get them tagged, you gotta make sure other people don’t post pics of you anyway. Or sometimes you might be in a background of a pic and not even know it. If you are somewhere you are not supposed to be, my advice is to just avoid cameras at all costs.

Bonus. One last thing--when it comes to gift-giving...please make the gifts anonymous! Not everyone needs to know who's giving you what or who you are giving things to. That causes a lot of unnecessary speculation and drama.

This clearly is not an exhaustive list, but comments are welcomed!

Investment Idea to Resist the Economic Slump

In the wake of this economic turmoil, black and brown folks alike reside in the unfortunate position of most likely to get F'd in the A (to borrow a phrase from Cartman). With that, it is tremendously important that we all wade the present and future economic tidal waves with creativity and earnest. How you ask? We must all adopt Surrogate White Parents!!!!

Now at first glance, this may appear vintage Uncle-Tomism, but I assure you of the contrary. In stark contrast to past interaction between whites and blacks in America, it is now not only increasingly taboo for white people to voice any negative feeling predicated in race (even if valid) without also conjuring some backlash, but they must also appear racially sensitive--at least for the time being. This, my friends, is the niche in the market that many of us educated blacks can capitalize on to ensure the economic maelstrom doesn't take us for that final and fatal ride. Overall, the benefit to adopting Surrogate White Parents is practically limitless. Beyond being viewed as racially transcendent and having access to previously untapped spheres, imagine how much fun you might have in making these white folks perpetually uncomfortable while simultaneously subservient. Despite the risk factors involved (e.g. at some point actually believing that you've been adopted), the cost benefit analysis definitely favors active and aggressive pursuit of this venture.

There exists, of course, a method to the madness. Adopting Surrogate White Parents ensures a certain level of inheritance directly commensurate with the type of "child" you are. Lastly, be sure to invest according to your means. It makes no sense to own a bunch of stock with an investment horizon that precludes you from paying your rent. Similarly, attempting to adopt Warren Buffet might be equally asinine for some. Besides, Lebron James is already working on that. If done correctly, you may be the next Barack Obama. Good Luck! (See Helpful Hints section below.)

Helpful Hints (Not an exhaustive list, comments welcome):

Do's

1. Discover the most efficient means of acquiring your Surrogate White Parent. (Just asking won't work. Think public display. Think black male. If them denying you risks public humiliation for them in some way, you're on the right track). This limits supplier power.
   
2. Once secured, you must think long term growth in the value of your investment. You must teach your surrogate things like the motorcycle dance or how to pop-loc-and-drop-it and any other thing they wish they could do to increase their "coolness." This increases your buyer power as it ensures their investment in your success (you bring something to the table that "enriches" them "culturally") and reduces the likelihood of them looking to substitutes. Brand quality baby.
   
3. Began to extract small dividends. Getting benefits that tax the Surrogate White Parent (if done at the right level) will discourage poaching by rivals in the space and provide intermittent goodies.
4. Know when to sell. No investment is sound without an exit strategy.
   

Don'ts

1. Don't physically or emotionally harm a Surrogate White Parent as a form of reparation. It's bad form and not good for morale.
2. Don't befriend the biological spawn of a Surrogate White Parent. If you are successful in your endeavor, you will surely incur their wrath at some point.
3. Don't demand too much in dividends prior to sufficient growth. Dividends are resources that are better utilized than reinvested in the company. Don't be that hood chick asking for somebody to buy her some shoes.
   
4. Don't tell your Surrogate White Parent that they are your Surrogate White Parent.
   

*For additional information, please see my forthcoming softback "Creepin On the Come Up: Getting White People to Do Whatever the Fuck You Want" from the folks who brought you the Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream. (Crown Publishing/Three Rivers Press).

The Jesse Jackson Affirmation of the Day:

"If white is comprised of all the colors of the rainbow, then you best believe colored folks should be gettin' some of that dough." ~Jesse Jackson (cough)

(We need yallz vote to get Jesse Jackson inducted into the Hip Hop Hall of Fame...let's get, get, get it!)

Greetings! Get tested!

I'm sitting in class right now kinda bored, waiting for the teacher to begin class. So I head on over to my favorite blog to see whats new in the world of gossip. The first thing I see is an ad about these new anonymous E-card greetings in which you as the recipient are notified that you should get tested! The intention is that those recently diagnosed with an STD will stop the spread by informing their partner in a more discreet fashion that they have come in contact with an STD.

Being a young woman in a big city this can be a daunting topic and I'm sure it touches fairly close to home for many young adults. Makes you wonder how many times you have either been exposed to or been one person away from being exposed to an STD. I would imagine it might be rather embarrassing for one to inform their partner that they have an STD, but lets face it...you owe it to them!

The new site is www.inSPOT.org. It was created by Internet Sexuality Transmission Services, Inc. a non profit organization dedicated to preventing the spread of such diseases via technology. The site is great because once you have recieved and inSPOT card the site not only provides information about the specific STD but it will then give you locations within your city in which you can get tested.

SMH at what this world has come to...but at the same time we must not ignore it, i'm glad someone has come up with an action plan. Hopefully those who need to take heed will. For the rest of us....watch out! It's a jungle out there.

Cindy McCain: Salty at the NY Times

According to Fox News, the McCain campaign is pissed over a New York Times article on Cindy McCain: her marriage (and mention of her miscarriages), her past addiction/theft of painkillers and her failure to fit in Washington (especially since she’s viewed as a home-wrecker and McCain’s past wife Carol was so well-liked)

This is an excerpt from the Times article:

“She played a role in the Keating Five savings-and-loan scandal, and just as her husband was rehabilitating his reputation, she was caught stealing drugs from her nonprofit organization to feed her addiction to painkillers. She has a fortune that sets the McCains apart from most other Americans, a problem in a presidential race that hinges on economic anxieties. She can be imprecise: she has repeatedly called herself an only child, for instance, even though she has two half-siblings, and has provided varying details about a 1994 mercy mission to Rwanda.”

John Dowd (Cindy McCain's attorney) wrote a letter to the NY Times Executive Editor, Bill Keller, for the story and tried to ram into him for not digging up more info about the Obamas’ personal life. Here is part of the letter:

"It is worth noting that you have not employed your investigative assets looking into Michelle Obama. You have not tried to find Barack Obama's drug dealer that he wrote about in his book, 'Dreams of My Father, nor have you interviewed his poor relatives in Kenya and determined why Barack Obama has not rescued them. Thus there is a terrific lack of balance here."

The McCain camp sent the letter in to FOX News, and the Times maintained its fair coverage of both candidates and story on Cindy McCain responding to FOXNews.com ensuring that they went into depth on investigating the backgrounds of both families.

Frankly, the McCains are just salty concerning the story and trailing in the polls so they want to say that all of this is propaganda for the democratic party…personally, after I read the article, I kinda felt bad for Cindy; it didn’t make me look at her in a negative way. AND it’s not like the McCains are disputing ANY of the facts in the story. So I get it: Cindy doesn’t want her business out…understandable—for the average person...but too bad! You’re the wife of someone who is running for president! Your privacy rights are officially null and void. Get over it. Even those close to her were quoted in the article. Maybe she should talk to them about that or get better/discreet friends.

Anyway perhaps that’ll teach her to stop talking about Michelle Obama (the hottest chick in the game) and her being unpatriotic. Hope Cindy stopped poppin’ those pills. She’s lookin awfully frail and skinny

Sources:

NY Times
Election Fox News

New Chris Brown Video

New Music from Chris Brown and Keri Hilson :

Superhuman

Chris Brown Ft. Keri Hilson - Superhuman [Music Video] [New]
Uploaded by Yannicklord

Making the Band...Aubrey: Before and After

I have been hearing a lot about Diddy releasing Aubrey O’Day and D. Woods from his multiplatinum-selling girl group Danity Kane…well I guess more accurately, he dismissed Aubrey and D.Woods just decided she wasn’t having any of the bullshit with separating their Ebony and Ivory 'clique' as Diddy so eloquently categorized them.

I’ve been watching Making the Band from the very beginning so I suppose you could say I feel a somewhat affinity towards the girls of Danity Kane. And at the time that the group was first made, Aubrey was my favorite (and clearly Diddy’s favorite). However, there are a couple of thoughts I want to express about this whole ordeal:

1. This Aubrey is not the same Aubrey that Diddy first signed. Aubrey used to be a wholesome girl. Now she wants to complain that she aint a hoe…once again, this is coming from someone (me) who liked her the best out of the rest of the group. But ummm I mean she dresses like a slore and acts like a slore…but she’s not a slore? Aubrey, sit down somewhere. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then your hoe ass is a duck…smh I’ve attached a before and after picture (up top) so that you could decide for yourself.
   
2. It’s my personal opinion that Diddy and Aubrey slept together. There was a lot of unnecessary tension and he didn’t have to talk to her the way he did at the season finale. “I like your shirt” should not have been responded by “Babygirl, with your attitude you gon’ end up in a dark and lonely place by yoself.” That was just extra for no reason


3. Dawn is a freakin hater and Q is a b*tch (I think this is self explanatory for those who watch the show)
   
4. Ha, now with all that said I think Diddy had the realest conversation of his life when he said “Aubrey and Aundrea, I’ve never seen you speak. Do ya’ll know each other?” That’s some dysfunctional line type situation…those who need to, will know what I mean by that ;-)

Anyway, Diddy is a publicity whore. There’s another season in the works for Making the Band so I highly doubt that his decision is final. DK will lack the ‘je ne sais quoi’ that D. Woods and Aubrey bring to the group

The truth about Obama according to Maher.

Apparently Maher really is down for the cause, and not just taking a dip in the chocolate fountain. Bill Maher is either an Obama supporter or a McCain hater. He made it apparent on Larry King Live this past Thursday night as he likened Barack Obama to the late great Jackie Robinson, referring to him as the Jackie of politics.
"He's smarter than all of us. He knows what he has to do is just what he did there -- don't take the bait. You know, he -- I keep calling him the Jackie Robinson of American politics...

As the first black guy in baseball, he could not react.

And it's the same with Obama. He cannot make one mistake and he never does. Imagine if he showed up somewhere five minutes late or played into any stereotype that racists think about black people?

They would say oh, well, we can't have a president who's going to be on colored people's time. Come on."

croaked!

Quick... what's the first thing that came to mind?

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