Condy's Getting A-rab $$$

Despite President Bush's lack of popularity in the middle east, it seems that his top diplomat Condoleezza Rice has made a name/reputation of her own. According to one of my favorite news blogs she received $316,000 in jewels alone from Arab leaders. Busta might talk about getting A-Rab money but it looks like Condoleezza really is. LOL! Check out the article here.

This ain't your mama's music...or is it?

This might seem random...but the tight pants and orgasmic thrusts of the male vocalist and sultry moans of the female vocalists caught my attention while eating lunch today in a peruvian restaurant. They were showing a medley of videos by this group Boney M. I decided to follow up and learn a little more about the group.

With raunchy album covers, provocative lyrics and costumes, Boney M were trendsetters during the seventies. They were produced out of West Germany but the members hailed from the Caribbean... shout out to those who hail from Montserrat, Aruba and Jamaica (it's rare that you find another Montserratian). There music was extremely popular over in the UK, India, Australia, The Netherlands...pretty much everywhere except the U.S. This first video is called "Daddy Cool" and it was one of their biggest hits, the second video is "Ma Baker" which got much more play over here in the US. Check out what they wearing! Once again... random, but fun! and yes it probaly is your mama's music if she was in the disco during the late 70s and early 80s.

Daddy Cool

Ma Baker

Can women be pimps? Or is she really just a whore with confidence?

This blog post is not some sociological interpretation of female madams and their impact on modern feminism. Rather, it is about is your home-girl who calls herself “a pimp” or “player” when it comes to the world of men and sex. Where as madams or real pimps, like Heidi Fleiss, used the bodies of the women they employed for sexual services, I’m talking about the woman who uses her own…not necessarily for money or gifts, although they might be part of the perks, but for the pure, raw enjoyment of the sexual experience. She’s got several men in rotation, and boosts about keeping up with the promiscuity of her male counterparts. Mimicking some of the behavior that’s most abhorred in men, she keeps up relationships with several men at a time, keeping them all at a certain distance, and steadfastly claiming that “there are no strings attached”.

Is she really a pimp, player, or mac? I’m not downing anyone’s right to have casual sex, or sexual exploration, but is having several partners at the same time really sexual exploration or just letting yourself be explored? Considering the very nature of sex and its dynamics, can a woman really say “there are no strings attached” when it’s her body that’s entered and sometimes left with a deposit from her most recent visitor? Now the female pimp might stop me here to correct me and tell me that her body is more a John Mayer-esque “Wonderland”, rather than a “Slip and Slide”, but I remain unconvinced. If every sexual experience is supposed to be some type of metaphysical connection between two bodies, how is it possible that you have that same connection with like three other people in same week. Better yet, do you ever wonder what you’re getting out sex? What’s the end goal for the female pimp – a couple dinner dates and pink polka dot Rolodex full of male acquaintances? I find it hard to believe that you are having great sex and tear inducing orgasms with every single partner.

The funny thing is, I truly believe that women are the more superior sex, and are capable of being better liars and more devious than most men. I’m fairly sure the female pimp can keep up more pseudo-relationships than her male counter parts and have all her partners convinced that they are the only ones. But what the female pimp fails to acknowledge is the fact is that there is probably more power in not giving it up than there is in being spread eagle. Great wars have waged by men simply over the possibility of getting some (Helen of Troy any one?). Think about it, male players give little and take a lot, all while dangling the mirage of a relationship in the face of their current plaything. If the male player currency is a relationship, perhaps its only fair that the female pimp keeps what the market wants high in demand, rather than tossing her currency around like free money (or better yet the US’s current economic stimulus package).

And as you treat your partners like a dessert tray, what happens when you can’t deny the fact that there maybe one particular dessert that hits the spot just right, satisfying you better than all the rest and leaving you longing for more? Ironically you face the same dilemma of the male player in the end. Now you want your late night dessert to turn into a breakfast croissant, and instead of a Sunday roll in the hay you want to enjoy a walk in the park. But like the male player –can anyone really take you seriously? Because you know, no one turns a hoe into a housewife…

Oooooh No...not the rat tail again!

I know that the eighties has been making a real comeback...but please oh please tell me that the rat tail that lil boys used to rock is not coming back?! Fellas don't do it! Apparently NBA player Drew Gooden was sporting the beginnings of one... and I came across this blog about rat tails . Now I have spent the majority of my time in NY...but maybe it never died in some parts...i don't know, but I wish it would die.


It seems as though Bobby Valentino is growing one in the back of his head. Check it out in his new video Beep Beep.

Ever had a REAL Conversation?

Ever had to have a real conversation with someone? For those of us who like to keep it classy…we like to have ‘real conversations’ with certain individuals. If you don’t know what it is… I would say that having a real conversation with someone is a spin off of “telling like it is” or “keeping it real,” but it’s more classy, sophisticated...if you will…a tool of EBP (Educated Black People …still don’t know google it). Having a real conversation with someone is not intentionally hurtful or mean…. But instead you are clearly and effectively expressing the truth and your concerns since they seem to have gone unnoticed for sometime. It may be the case that the individual is not ready for what you are about to let them know…so things may get ugly before they get better.
Usually the point at which you find yourself needing to have a real conversation with someone is close to when it will actually happen, because its simply UNAVOIDABLE. It’s usually something that needs to be done…because frankly the BS has gone on for waaay to long and you feeling like “I need to handle this before I choke ole’ girl.” Once you put it in your mind that that’s it’s not okay for them to carry on the way that they are, you won’t be at ease until you express yourself. If you are still unsure of what a real conversation is please read the following scenarios and think back to when you may have had to have a real conversation with someone.

• When you loaned your friend money out of the kindness of your heart and a couple weeks go by and they still haven’t paid you back; yet, you notice that she got a fresh blow out/ or he got on fresh kicks; meanwhile you scrapping together paper bag lunches trying to get by cause you made a sacrifice for they ass. A real conversation needs to be had about when they gonna pay you back and why you struggling at their expense. Real… talk, maybe if you weren't getting so many blowouts or new kicks you wouldn’t need to borrow cash in the 1st place…those keds get you to and work just fine.
  

• When your friend doesn’t understand that a bootycall is not a relationship…and she is running around telling everyone about your nightly activities and blowing things out of proportion…a real conversation needs to be had. Real talk…Coming over at 4am is not a breakfast date boo.
  

• When you come back from lunch and you notice repeatedly that your coworker is eyeing you, or when you get off of a personal phone call they eyeing you again. How about when you chatting with your friend on gchat and that’s when they decide to come over and ask you about a report due next week as if to warn you about your productivity. A real conversation need be had about he or she clocking your work when they not your supervisor. Real talk…You don’t see me saying nothing about your oh so convenient coffee breaks or on Monday morning how you feel the need to let your girlfriend know about your weekend escapades while the rest of us were preparing for the work week.

• When your homegirl beings to think she's the third person in your relationship. Filling you in on your man's whereabouts or asking about his upcoming projects as if she's a consultant. A real conversation needs to be had about the fact that she need not be overly concerned about your man and vocalizing how great he is. Real talk…Yes, I like my man in that vest too, but you don't need to mention it 5 times about how good he looks in it
  

Feel free to share any situations in which you had to have a real conversation with someone over some ole’ bullshit. Stay tuned for the Rules of a real conversation and when a real conversation goes wrong.

Who should most be inspired by Obama? AND...Will we see a baby in the White House? (Hopefully...)

I've been meaning to provide commentary on this particular subject for quite sometime. Today's early boredom at work is as good a motivation as any, I suppose, to highlight the people that I espouse should be most inspired by that dude Barack's election (yeah, we're on a first name basis like that). Though many groups lay legitimate claim to Obama's racial and cultural identity, his monolithic appeal forces a magnetism of sharing and commonality that is unprecedented to date (even immediately post 9-11, in this author's opinion), primarily because the guy just doesn't fit nicely into any category to which he's grabbed (I dunno, kinda like how people romanticize America). One group, however, exacts an exlusivity in claim (two if you count my sorors) on a very acute inspiration from Barack, and they get the gold for who should be most inspired. That group is BLACK WOMEN--and their claim is Michelle Obama.

Michelle Obama is straight up black and a straight up woman, period (who's "bad" in a good way...see photo above [which doesn't even show off the fatty])! Michelle seems to be as good as it gets, on a number of levels, and I think nothing evinces Barack's judgment more resoundingly than his grinding (hard by most accounts) to pull Michelle (who was older and who was more established...she was even "the breadwinner" for a good portion of their marriage--even Oprah can't say that). With the destitution of honor and chronic dearth of mores in the black community, the black family more frequently than not finds itself in the position of suspect numero uno. From the natal alienation of slavery through the institutional devouring of our families presently, the black family has never more prominently stood nor has the world subjected it to as much scrutiny as it does today, using the Obama household as conduit. With black women vastly positioned as the cornerstone of our families, Barack's success is largely Michelle's. One could argue at length regarding the nuances of her involvement in Barack's campaign (I personally believe she was the mastermind), she consisently projects a standard by which black women should be inspired--touching the professional (did u see her speeches!?!?), aesthetic, and familial aspects of black womanhood. In short, I imagine little debate would surface as to whether or not Barack would be in his present station were it not for Michelle. Since the US Census reflects black women's propensity to marry outside their race to be the lowest of all racial categories, there is hope and inspiration that doing you could pay off in a way markedly different from black people feeling that we can all "make it" now. Some might call me a dreamer, but I think the likelihood of stronger black families (no matter how few) as a result of black women being reinvigored by Michelle's example will more likely outnumber the total of neo-"[insert noun] movements" in America, and hopefully it will dead movies like "Something New" or "The Family that Preys" (lol...smh with a heavy sigh).

Black men need to sit they asses down, be humbled, reflective and introspective about the magnitude of having the safety net of institional excuses singed more and more daily (and then stand up and set out to inspire our black women even as Barack has with his lifetime cabinet pick). Whatever the expectations preset, whatever the onslaught of adversity, black men are increasingly realizing unprecedented successes AND holding down black women. Playtime is all but over in that regard. Black women, on the other hand, in this small way can viscerally empathize and enjoy Michelle's illness so far, though I'm sure more is to come.

[Though I didn't comment on her innumerable professional accolades and chose to focus exclusively on family life, please don't assume my accent to family life in any way being a presumable pinnacle of success amid black women (it had to be said, cuz yall crazy, and I ain't tryna get cut).]

On a lighter note, the White House unquestionably needs a baby! Behind the grin resulting from my conviction, rests the negro in me who wants to still further push America to a place of deeper tolerance and acceptance. First, let me say that I am delighted at how the media has embraced the Obama children (and their coming pup). Could you imagine how the media would respond to a new baby? While Michelle is doing big things professionally (because I think she's going to grind)? While Barack leads the free world? If that would not be inspiration for black families and for American tolerance and acceptance to be extended, I would be hard pressed to find anything short of "choose your champion (UFC/Gladiator type)" strong arming. Although, I am uneasy about America falling in love with black youth publicly (see Michael Jackson and Gary Coleman) to say the least.

But perhaps most exhilirating aspect of a baby in the White House would be sticking it to the Palin family (wow!). Nuff said!

*I know if Michelle was my wife and I was prez, I'd be getting it poppin' in the White House!!!!

Comments welcome!

Who is Sasha Fierce

It’s a shame that our girl B must create an alter ego to say what she really wants to say. I actually I like this character Sasha Fierce much better. My favorite tracks come from the Sasha Fierce side, including sweet dreams. But all in all I think B should drop the alter ego and just be herself. Her fans would appreciate a more down to earth and slightly more gritty side every once in a while…well at least I would. Not saying she should take the Keyshia Cole route but it would have us all intrigued nonetheless.

The alter ego idea is not at all creative, most recently TI, Mary J., Tyrese, Nelly and Garth Brooks have done it and in the past David Bowie and The Beatles have experimented with alter egos as well. None seemed to be major career boosters… I think that B attempted something, but she just scratched the surface of something that could’ve been better. As a Newsday blogger so cleverly put it

It's a brilliant idea, if only the music cooperated. Beyoncé is clearly feeling more lovey-dovey and less bootylicious these days....In the end, neither Beyoncé personality gets fully developed here. "I Am ... Sasha Fierce" is supposed to be a declaration, but it sounds more like "I Am ... Not Sure."

I agree. I mean what is it that Sasha Fierce has that Beyonce, as we know her, lacks? A kinky sex life?…wait until you hear Video Phone. Other than that they sound like the same person. Honestly Sasha Fierce isn’t a huge jump from good ole’ B (and this is evident with the double cd). Instead she sort of reminds me of the sassy Beyonce that made songs like Independent Woman, Check on it, Crazy in love, 03Bonnie & Clyde. Could it be that Sasha Fierce existed all along but only now was she able to break free? If so how long will she be free. Will there be more from Sasha Fierce on the next album?

I'm going to give this album a B. It's somewhat consistent in that you have a few danceable hits and sing along ballads...but no classics coming out of this one. So far nothing can touch her first solo album Dangerously In Love (2003). I’m not sure if anything will ...at least not as long as she is still able to dip it low for silly songs like Single Ladies

What we will take from this album is a new definition of a hustler: “A diva is a female version of a hustla” –thanks to Sasha Fierce for that one…whoever she really is.

Sweet Dreams

Bald is beautiful ?

In the past week, I've run across TWO different stories in TWO different reputable literary sources (Glamour and Allure) on male landscaping-- i.e. "MAN-SCAPING". Is it really that much of a phenomenon? Or are these magazines just running out of things to talk about? Perhaps there is a quota on how many "Have better orgasms" articles they can print each year, and they have decided to get at the fellas instead.

Now, for those who don't now what "man-scaping" is - let me fill you in. Man-scaping is basically any kind of hair removal from a man's body other than from his face or scalp. This can include shaving or waxing, like "chest man-scaping", a la "The 40-year old Virgin", or something a little more intricate (to say the least) .... i.e. the "Brozilian", a male equivalent to a Brazilian. In fact, both Jay-Z and Diddy have publicly admitted to having had "Brozilians". In this month's Allure, Diddy states, "I shave and groom my private areas. It's a better presentation for me. If men require women to go through the pain, we should return the favor."

See now, I appreciate that Diddy realizes that he holds his women to a high standard when it comes to personal grooming and is willing to do the same for his partners, but um really, is this necessary? I mean, its one thing to trim and keep tidy but is the prepubescent hairless look really that sexy? Isn't being hairy one thing men are good at? Let's not even explore the pain/stubble/ or ingrown hair aspect to this scenario. And although I am secretly delighted that some men are experiencing the sheer level of pain that is a result of hot wax being spread across their unmentionables and quickly ripped off, it doesn't mean I want my man to build a relationship with the same chick who waxes my eyebrows. Also, I feel like this puts some pressure back on women in an subtle, underhanded way. If you stay on top of your wax game ...does that mean I have to too?

Now there are many different hypothesises on the causes of this phenomenon. Of course, there is that long held rumor that "it makes it look bigger", or the suggestion that there is an element of extra sensitivity when hair free. But overall, I blame porn, and in particular hi-definition pornography, for this craze. I think men are beginning to try to capture the unrealistic physical expectations displayed in pornography that has long plagued females. I have hard time believing that most average men would 1. come up with this idea on their own without seeing it on t.v., and 2. really want to lift their leg up and to the side so that Kim Lee can get those stubborn stray hairs.

What I do know is that I'm going to feel real strange if my man got shy one night because he missed his standing wax at Bliss. I have a hard time thinking of anything un-sexier. So what do you think? Is it too much to enjoy a little bit of chest hair on a man (and some below), or should we be exploring the whole new ball game...hair free...

Don't Block Your Blessings

It's Sunday again...the day I allot to a little reflection time.

On a daily basis I work with a woman who has a lot going on in terms of stress. Her heart is in the right place but life seems to keep knocking her down. She is caught up in a system that has lead her through cyclical stress. I would be completely discrediting myself, my job and other in the helping field if I said that the system hasn't given her anything. I realize that the system has finally come to the point of putting a few people in her life who really care about her and are there to actually help... already some changes have been made.

Just this past week I came to realize that I was dreading her coming into my office. I noticed that she was so miserable that she was draining my energy. I'm in a helping profession and the burn-out rate is quick...but this woman is burning me out almost immediately. I finally had to say "look put the goddamn stress aside and do something fun!" No noo I didn't actually say that, but I did become frustrated with her because she was sitting around moping, when I was about to skip off to a fun workshop that my job was offering for free. All I could think was that she was sitting there sulking yet again but not taking advantage of the free class that I knew she needed. More importantly I thought she just needed to take a break from her miserableness and do something to benefit herself. The thing that is most frustrating in working with her is that she does not see the good in her situation AT ALL. In just six months we had done so much, made so much progression and yet she wasn't seeing this.

Unfortunately I don't have some cute ending to the story with her. She is still going to carry on miserably until some miracle occurs...unless I can convince her otherwise. But I did learn two things.
1. Sometimes you just gotta be selfish and do you.
I mean sometimes you gotta put your stress aside and enjoy yourself. Forget about everyone else and invest sometime into your self. it may seem selfish, but it actually isn't. When it comes to taking care of yourself, you have to make the first move.
2. Don't block your blessings.
Remember not to block your blessings. Look for the good in your situation, even if it's small. Any amount of progress, is progress nonetheless. Also if you are spending your time complaining to a friend...eventually they are going to get tired of hearing it. My solution: realize your emotion and let it out so that you can get rid of it or deal with it and move on. Live your life and realize that there will always be bumps along the way. The journey doesn't end at that bump, eventually you get over it and onto the next.

Our first "colored" president

Ok so we know that Lindsay Lohan has no home training...but damn did she really call Obama our first "colored" president??? I think it was a rather muffled part of the interview but listen for yourself right around 17-19 seconds into the clip.

The Girlfriend Code Rule I

Rule I
If your girlfriend VERBALLY expresses that she likes/has a crush/ hooked up with/ had a one night stand/ or had some serious flirting with a guy that she would like to date….he is off limits.

I’m addressing this 1st b/c it the most common mistake - usually is a fool proof way to dissolve a friendship.

Personally, I don’t get why women still refuse to get this—thousands of relationships would be saved if we simply followed this rule and stopped being underhanded. Women are possessive, and even if it did not work between her and him – it does not mean that she wants to see you together…ever… It’s just an honest fact. I mean really ladies, think of men like a pair of shoes. If you are scouting a pair of gorgeous pumps, day dreaming about them, bookmarking the URL on your computer, and just waiting for pay day so you can make your move...how would you feel if your friend showed up with the last pair, in your size, talking about "Oh I didn't know you liked them,". Just the thought makes you want to slap a bitch, and ask her what parallel universe she is living in, considering you've been talking about those shoes for the past two weeks, and planning your Saturday night outfit around them. Now if your foolish girlfriend had really been listening and followed the code, you'd probably have that pair of faux crocodile purple pumps to wear with your skinny jeans right now, or better yet that tall, dark, and handsome guy you met at that party you went to last week.

Moreover, I would like to point out that at least 70% of the time, it’s so not worth it because the relationship that ensues is usually so drama riddled that it ends up imploding on itself, and in the end you'll just have to go back your inner circle...embarrassed and seeking forgiveness.

I’d also like to point out the key word in rule 1- VERBAL communication—you cannot be responsible for reading your friend’s mind. Ladies please remember, stating your claim is still a necessary step...even amongst the inner circle (its a hard world out there). I cannot assume just because you smile at a guy that you're actually really interested -- you smile at everything with a penis.

Stay tuned for Rule II.....

The Girlfriend Code

Note: this blog is part of a series, and will updated periodically. Please stay tuned, and commentary is always welcome!



I’ve always had a lot of female friends. Having only one little brother, and no sisters, I find comfort in having close female friends and cousins that I could confide in. There is a power and inexpiable strength within that female bond, and it probably explains why I joined a sorority in college. Over the past 24 years, I have to say I’ve been a pretty good girl friend. In fact, I think broken friendship between a close girlfriend leaves what Diane Farr, the author of “The Girl Code”, calls “ a scar on the soul”, where no matter how much time has passed, you still feel a soft spot for a girlfriend lost and close times shared. Unfortunately, “these scars” or broken friendship are often result from blatant disregard, neglect, and obliteration of a simple code of ethics that all women have learned, socialize in, and continually perpetuate. So I have taken it upon myself to give you, the readers of this highly culturally aware blog, a crash course in girlfriend ethics, in the hope that all of us who do still follow the code of ethics amongst girlfriends can stop asking ourselves if we are crazy, and start asking other chicks “Bitch, where are your scruples?"

So what is a girlfriend exactly? I’m not talking about that chick you chitchat with at work, or a casual friend that you run into while getting your nails done. I am talking about the girls who comprise your inner circle, who you go visit just because, and spend hours with talking about something seemingly insignificant with the kind seriousness found only at G8 summit (example: your undeniable love affair with Anderson Copper, even though he’s a powder puff or Beyonce's video). A girlfriend has a mini catalog of your outfits (or if you have a memory like mine—a extensive catalog), and doesn’t judge you for still trying to be “friends” with that ex-boyfriend that you actually did love … even if the relationship was three years ago. You are not afraid to breakdown and cry in front of this girlfriend, in particular, if it is over seeing that same silly ex-bf (that you were just trying to be “friends” with) kicking it with some other girl –whom your girlfriend (if she’s a good one) will assure you is ugly and has some type of physical deformity (even if ole girl is a Naomi Campbell look a like). Real girlfriends allow you to bitch about your other good friends when they are acting out, and you know she won’t turn around gossip because she knows 1. You’re just venting, and 2. You’re probably right. And most importantly, these are the friends that you can go without seeing for one month or more, and will you not receive a nasty message talking about “where the fuck you been?” – but instead will be able to catch up over one dinner and couple glasses of wine like no time had ever passed.

Now in life, you are only blessed with a few friends like this. I believe that you can have really only have 4 girlfriends like this at the most (because honestly to share your business with anymore of these would just be silly). Now a woman’s circle of friends can be as wide as 10 or 12 people. But your inner circle comprises of a much smaller group of women in and outside that circle with whom you share your dreams, hopes, and fears.

Women learn the code of ethics at a very early age – as early as in pre-k or kindergarten- and the lessons only solidify, as you get older. It starts with small things, like only sharing your crayons with the girl who brings you an extra jell-o pack to lunch. But I feel like the real height of female socialization is middle school- or what I like to call “The Mean Girl Stage”. Why middle school you ask? Well for three reasons:

1. It’s where the formation of cliques, inner circles, and social hierarchy are formed.
2. Puberty begins and you can choose to either surround with friends who make you feel better about yourself, or not
3. The crash collision of hormones and boys –which sad to say is often the cause of fissure between girlfriends.

It’s on the middle school playground, amidst discussion of training bras, lip-gloss, and crushes, you learn to be a girlfriend, confidante, and a team player. Essentially it’s where you learn loyalty to those close to you, and fierce bitchiness to those who want infiltrate or destroy your circle. In some ways middle school is its own form of girlfriend hazing where you are constantly tested, and constantly testing your girlfriends. (Yes, it’s incredibly immature, but hey you’re 11)

So I think what women need to return to the lessons learned on the playground, amongst ponytails and bubblicious bubble gum, and start treating their inner circle girlfriends with the some sense. For those of you women who have read this far—and are on that “I only hang out with dudes because I don't get along with girls” tip—this actually probably more for you –because the real reason you don’t get along with women probably lies in your serious lack in girlfriend ethics (i.e. bitches don’t have a reason trust your no scruple having behind…get your shit together).

My next post will include a cheat sheet for you to help keep the few girlfriends you may have....

10 Rules for Being Human

These past couple weeks have been rather tumultuous for me, trying to juggle school, work and other life issues. Fortunately I am taking a spirituality class that sometimes forces me to step back from the rambunctiousness of life and reflect. I think it is important that every once in a while we take a step back from our physical selves and surroundings and evaluate where we are. It is necessary in order to ensure that we are staying true to ourselves. The phrase may be cliche, but you would be surprised at how many of us are not comfortable in our own space and therefore have spent life trying to occupy someone else's. These people have become externally motivated...motivated by the needs and wants of others. They have been out of touch with their own personal space for so long that they are estranged from it and don't even recognize themselves.

In my studies I came across this phrase... "life is a set of lessons that will be repeated until learned." Ain't that the truth! How many times have we seen our trifling friend do the same thing over and over again and we say "one day he/she is gonna learn" or we make a mistake so bad, that cost us so much that we say .."oh I learned my lesson! I will never do that again." If the lesson is truly learned, then it won't happen again. However, if you were just saying the ever-popular phrase just to be saying it, then you may find yourself right back in that same damn situation. Anyways it all comes back to the rather boring saying ..stay true to yourself, perhaps not so trite after all!

The phrase about life being a set of lessons was adapted from Cherie Carter-Scott's "10 Rules for Being Human." I know we can't all be perfect but here are some things to keep in mind:

"10 Rules for Being Human"

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life".

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work".

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're "alive", that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better a place than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

Black People Are Not Ready For a Black President

I am very well aware that some people will not agree with how I feel or what I’m about to say…but who cares, this is my blog! Haha anyway there is something that is on my mind and I felt the need to express said thoughts.

To be frank, I am highly concerned. I do not think that black people, as a whole are prepared adequately equipped for having Barack Obama (or any other black man) as our president. What I mean by that is “niggas are just not acting right.” One of my dear associates said that he did not think black people were ready for equality…while I agree with him, I don’t think that we currently have achieved universal equality at all… Just because he is black does not mean that the ENTIRE race has achieved equality…every time I hear “WE in there!” I shake my head…no WE are not…HE (and family) is in there, and they worked hard for it. My issue is that people are not realizing that 1. He did not run specifically for black people, and 2. He was a man qualified for the job, wanted to change the world, and “happened” to be black. He did not run AS the black presidential candidate…granted there’s nothing he could do because although our president-elect is half African-American AND half white, following in line with the “one-drop rule,” for all intents and purposes, everyone just calls him black.

And if we DID have equality, I still stand by my stance that black people just are not ready. I received a text today (one of many) saying to drink a lot of water cause there are gonna be a lot of salty crackers…I’m not gonna lie and say I didn’t give a lil chuckle at first out of pure shock…but then it was like damn, this is a prime example of the ignorance I’m talking about. That text was the complete antithesis of what Barack stands for. That is not what he wants. He is half white ("cracker" if you will), but people completely ignore that.

Another comrade of mine said it best when he said just because we have a black president does not mean that the ignorance will cease to exist in America. However, I don’t think a majority understand the magnitude. Having Barack Obama as a president has proven that it will only bring more ignorance. People will feel more comfortable because he’s president and it brings black people under more scrutiny as well…and we’re failing the damn test!

Anyway, people, I’m just really embarrassed. White people around the world predicted this type of behavior…black people just declaring this a holiday and being real reckless. People are going insane. Before you know it, people will be smoking weed outside like oh it’s ok, we got a black pres…NO people it’s NOT OK lol (although they should just legalize it…not even on no Barack Obama shit as an excuse). You don’t want people to think “look at this coonery, maybe we made a mistake” which is definitely what was said to me earlier. We don’t need to be talking about how they are gonna be frying chicken up in the White House or having chitlins or anything else that can be regarded as stereotypically “black.” It’s really not necessary. Get right and act right.

White people voting for Barack was a bit cathartic as well. You know it made them feel good to counteract effects of racism by casting their vote for a black guy. It helps to relieve thoughts of their own level of prejudice, whatever the level…but honestly, this is about to make them never vote for a black man again. We need to think of the future as well as the present and this isn’t boding well for black people. This is not just a historical moment for black people. The man just happened to be black and that’s great, but in all seriousness, this is a really historical moment for AMERICA and the world.

On a side note though, talk about a great night for the Obama’s. It was a beautiful moment when his family came out to support him. It’s so nice to see a couple so in love these days…you know Michelle put it on Barack like nobody’s business when they got home… your man just got elected to be president and you first lady…talk about an aphrodisiac! lmao

President-Elect Barack Obama!!

The time for change is here, right in this moment! This election has been nothing short of inspiring. Dwelling in the present, I know this is a wonderful moment. "There must be a change in the way we think about ourselves, our responsibility for our own success, and the way we look at the opportunities that exist in the world." YES WE CAN and YES WE DID!!!!

Throwback song of the day

Vote for Change...TODAY! Obama 2008!

Let's give credit where credit is due. Whether it be to vote for him or to vote against him, Barack Obama has really moved everyone to get up and vote. This morning I went out to the polls in my hometown of Roosevelt, Long Island. It was amazing to see the long line that stretched out the doors of the local catholic school. Many of the poll workers were saying that this is the first time they have ever even seen a line at such an early hour. Despite the long lines, people were smiling, feeling upbeat and motivated for change.

Often, we New Yorkers are given a bad wrap for being rather unfriendly, but the friendly attitudes at the polls this morning would prove any outsider wrong. Everyone had that glimmer of hope in their eyes. It goes without saying that a history (ourstory) is being made and we are all excited to take part. Nonetheless I think that there is another source of excitement in that people actually have decided to believe in our government. The large turnout in polls shows that people feel like their one vote will indeed make a difference. I have done my fair share of campaigning in the streets in the past...when Bush was up for reelection...it was depressing to see the amount of people who weren't bothering to vote because they didn't think their vote mattered...yet look what's going on today! People feel like someone has come along who genuinely cares about them and that he is truly down for a change. People actually have taken an interest in government.
It felt good to vote! if you haven't already please get out and do it our friend below did!

What would a blog be without a little promoting and advertising... A friend of mine and a graduate of Temple Uiniversity, Steven Lewis has established himself as a poet and photographer. Check out some of his work right here



Here is his latest work:
A Mother’s Requiem

Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
But have you really forgiven me for trespassing against you

At that time in my life I felt alone
Scared that no one would be there
So I ended your chance
To enhance mine

Now I regret
My only opportunity
To give you more than I had
To teach you more than I learned

I sit and think about what could have been
Mother to child
Rocking to sleep on my chest
A kiss of comfort from the beat of my heart

Thoughts have never left my soul
I still cry at the image
Suicidal thoughts ravage my mind
A lifetime away from a new beginning

Our father who art in heaven
Heal my soul because I am torn
No one can truly understand this pain
A pain that continues to leave its mark on the inside

Shame
Fear
Guilt
Each one fueling my demise

Depression
Anxiety
Wanting to feel that life inside me again
Each one fueling my stuttering downfall

Flash back of memories and nightmares
Going to sleep while my child exits my body
Persistent thoughts of the procedure
All on what would have been your day

I ask for your forgiveness
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory
Forever and ever
AMEN

Beyonce to Play Etta James

What would this blog be without a little bit of hate...

No your eyes aren't deceiving you, B is looking a little plump. She has put on 15lbs to take on her role as the living musical legend, Etta James in the upcoming flick, "Cadillac Records." As if dream girls wasn't enough... she's at it again. Just couldn't settle with someone else taking her shine. Unfortunately much of the buzz surrounding this movie is because Beyonce is in it, but by no means is she the star. The film chronicles the rise and fall of Chess Records in Chicago during the 50's & 60's. The label brought many greats like Muddy waters, Etta James and Chuck Berry to fame. Oscar Winner Adrien Brody stars as Leonard Chess, the man responsible for Chess records, while Cedric the Entertainer plays one of the songwriters on the label. Gabrielle Union plays the devoted woman of one of Muddy Waters. Mos Def stars as Chuck Berry, of which I am sure he will put on a good performancee. However I can't say the same for B's portrayal of Etta. Can you honestly see Princess B embodying a woman who went through much stress and strife due to drugs and alcohol? I'm skeptical. Would it have been too much to try out someone new...Keyshia Cole maybe? Keyshia's life story would give her a personal place to pull from in order to display hardships Etta had with drugs and alcohol, not to mention a deep & soulful voice... just a thought.

I'm sure that by now you have either heard the new singles or heard some buzz about Beyonce's new album I AM ....SASHA FIERCE due out in November. Once again B is telling us how playing Etta James has helped her to really dig deep within herself and ...blah blah blah...and how it helped her to create this latest album. In an MTV interview she says

"Lyrically, it's deeper than what I've done before," the 27-year-old singer said. "I wasn't mature enough or old enough, or in touch with myself enough, to do this type of album before. I didn't have the guts."

WHAT! Have you heard the single, "Single Ladies"? With lyrics like "if he likes it than he's sure to put a ring on it" You gonna tell me that's deep, with the tap dance recital video to match. Now obviously I like B and respect her work...but I think it's time for her to sit down and take a little bit of a rest. She should take note from Alicia. Take some time off so as to truly be able to put out some quality work. I love B and admire her drive...but I hate to see her do this foolishness.

Facebook Ruins Relationships

The key to saving a relationship is to get off facebook. That shit ruins lives. If I hear one more person say “Unless you're dating on Facebook, it is not official,” I’m going to tell them about themselves. That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. Frankly, I think a relationship is more real if it’s not on Facebook because you’ll probably have a better chance of making it work and heaven forbid ya'll break up, you won't have the whole world in your shit. Facebook is the perfect tool for stalkers. I’ve deactivated my account for numerous reasons (those stalkers get all up in people’s biz), but I hear people talk about it all the time. This one girl I know was dating someone for a month when he added her as his girlfriend on Facebook. Her “in a relationship with (insert name here)” bar was not visible although she accepted the invite that he sent her. He got really mad about it, removed her from his relationship bar and a week later they broke up. That’s really just a case of bitchassness and bitchassness is getting even more prevalent in the community, make no mistake [blog on that coming soon.] People can’t even get poked anymore without a significant other seeing that shit and getting upset. In any case, the top three reasons for conflict concerning relationships and friendships, in my opinion, are listed below:

1. The Facebook wall- this is the worst weapon of all. Plain and simple. People write some really reckless shit that you would rather not have the world see. And aside from that, there are some really jealous people out there. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard “who are all of those guys/girls who are always writing on my girl’s/man’s wall…wtf.” This is also a really popular one: “Oh hell no, so you had time to be writing on so-and-so’s wall, but you were too busy to call me last night??” I CANT wit that shit though…smh
2. Do you remember that first day that Facebook introduced the mini-feed and no one knew how to turn it off? Madd relationships were obliterated that day lmao. People got caught OUT there. It got so bad that Zuckerman had to send out a message letting everyone know how to access their privacy settings to customize exactly what they wanted/didn’t want people to see. Everyone knew who was in a relationship with whom, who broke up and when, who was writing on who’s wall, who was commenting on what pics…it was a crazy/funny day. I think we all knew a little more about each other that day than we cared to lol
3. Don’t have pictures tagged to your account. I have witnessed many a conversation that went something like this “so where did you say you were Saturday night? Oh really? Cause I remember you saying you were too busy to go out with me, but on FACEBOOK, I see you tagged in madd pics at (insert name here)’s party.” You already see where that is going…Pictures are dangerous cause even if you don’t get them tagged, you gotta make sure other people don’t post pics of you anyway. Or sometimes you might be in a background of a pic and not even know it. If you are somewhere you are not supposed to be, my advice is to just avoid cameras at all costs.

Bonus. One last thing--when it comes to gift-giving...please make the gifts anonymous! Not everyone needs to know who's giving you what or who you are giving things to. That causes a lot of unnecessary speculation and drama.

This clearly is not an exhaustive list, but comments are welcomed!

Investment Idea to Resist the Economic Slump

In the wake of this economic turmoil, black and brown folks alike reside in the unfortunate position of most likely to get F'd in the A (to borrow a phrase from Cartman). With that, it is tremendously important that we all wade the present and future economic tidal waves with creativity and earnest. How you ask? We must all adopt Surrogate White Parents!!!!

Now at first glance, this may appear vintage Uncle-Tomism, but I assure you of the contrary. In stark contrast to past interaction between whites and blacks in America, it is now not only increasingly taboo for white people to voice any negative feeling predicated in race (even if valid) without also conjuring some backlash, but they must also appear racially sensitive--at least for the time being. This, my friends, is the niche in the market that many of us educated blacks can capitalize on to ensure the economic maelstrom doesn't take us for that final and fatal ride. Overall, the benefit to adopting Surrogate White Parents is practically limitless. Beyond being viewed as racially transcendent and having access to previously untapped spheres, imagine how much fun you might have in making these white folks perpetually uncomfortable while simultaneously subservient. Despite the risk factors involved (e.g. at some point actually believing that you've been adopted), the cost benefit analysis definitely favors active and aggressive pursuit of this venture.

There exists, of course, a method to the madness. Adopting Surrogate White Parents ensures a certain level of inheritance directly commensurate with the type of "child" you are. Lastly, be sure to invest according to your means. It makes no sense to own a bunch of stock with an investment horizon that precludes you from paying your rent. Similarly, attempting to adopt Warren Buffet might be equally asinine for some. Besides, Lebron James is already working on that. If done correctly, you may be the next Barack Obama. Good Luck! (See Helpful Hints section below.)

Helpful Hints (Not an exhaustive list, comments welcome):

Do's

1. Discover the most efficient means of acquiring your Surrogate White Parent. (Just asking won't work. Think public display. Think black male. If them denying you risks public humiliation for them in some way, you're on the right track). This limits supplier power.
   
2. Once secured, you must think long term growth in the value of your investment. You must teach your surrogate things like the motorcycle dance or how to pop-loc-and-drop-it and any other thing they wish they could do to increase their "coolness." This increases your buyer power as it ensures their investment in your success (you bring something to the table that "enriches" them "culturally") and reduces the likelihood of them looking to substitutes. Brand quality baby.
   
3. Began to extract small dividends. Getting benefits that tax the Surrogate White Parent (if done at the right level) will discourage poaching by rivals in the space and provide intermittent goodies.
4. Know when to sell. No investment is sound without an exit strategy.
   

Don'ts

1. Don't physically or emotionally harm a Surrogate White Parent as a form of reparation. It's bad form and not good for morale.
2. Don't befriend the biological spawn of a Surrogate White Parent. If you are successful in your endeavor, you will surely incur their wrath at some point.
3. Don't demand too much in dividends prior to sufficient growth. Dividends are resources that are better utilized than reinvested in the company. Don't be that hood chick asking for somebody to buy her some shoes.
   
4. Don't tell your Surrogate White Parent that they are your Surrogate White Parent.
   

*For additional information, please see my forthcoming softback "Creepin On the Come Up: Getting White People to Do Whatever the Fuck You Want" from the folks who brought you the Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream. (Crown Publishing/Three Rivers Press).

The Jesse Jackson Affirmation of the Day:

"If white is comprised of all the colors of the rainbow, then you best believe colored folks should be gettin' some of that dough." ~Jesse Jackson (cough)

(We need yallz vote to get Jesse Jackson inducted into the Hip Hop Hall of Fame...let's get, get, get it!)

Greetings! Get tested!

I'm sitting in class right now kinda bored, waiting for the teacher to begin class. So I head on over to my favorite blog to see whats new in the world of gossip. The first thing I see is an ad about these new anonymous E-card greetings in which you as the recipient are notified that you should get tested! The intention is that those recently diagnosed with an STD will stop the spread by informing their partner in a more discreet fashion that they have come in contact with an STD.

Being a young woman in a big city this can be a daunting topic and I'm sure it touches fairly close to home for many young adults. Makes you wonder how many times you have either been exposed to or been one person away from being exposed to an STD. I would imagine it might be rather embarrassing for one to inform their partner that they have an STD, but lets face it...you owe it to them!

The new site is www.inSPOT.org. It was created by Internet Sexuality Transmission Services, Inc. a non profit organization dedicated to preventing the spread of such diseases via technology. The site is great because once you have recieved and inSPOT card the site not only provides information about the specific STD but it will then give you locations within your city in which you can get tested.

SMH at what this world has come to...but at the same time we must not ignore it, i'm glad someone has come up with an action plan. Hopefully those who need to take heed will. For the rest of us....watch out! It's a jungle out there.

Cindy McCain: Salty at the NY Times

According to Fox News, the McCain campaign is pissed over a New York Times article on Cindy McCain: her marriage (and mention of her miscarriages), her past addiction/theft of painkillers and her failure to fit in Washington (especially since she’s viewed as a home-wrecker and McCain’s past wife Carol was so well-liked)

This is an excerpt from the Times article:

“She played a role in the Keating Five savings-and-loan scandal, and just as her husband was rehabilitating his reputation, she was caught stealing drugs from her nonprofit organization to feed her addiction to painkillers. She has a fortune that sets the McCains apart from most other Americans, a problem in a presidential race that hinges on economic anxieties. She can be imprecise: she has repeatedly called herself an only child, for instance, even though she has two half-siblings, and has provided varying details about a 1994 mercy mission to Rwanda.”

John Dowd (Cindy McCain's attorney) wrote a letter to the NY Times Executive Editor, Bill Keller, for the story and tried to ram into him for not digging up more info about the Obamas’ personal life. Here is part of the letter:

"It is worth noting that you have not employed your investigative assets looking into Michelle Obama. You have not tried to find Barack Obama's drug dealer that he wrote about in his book, 'Dreams of My Father, nor have you interviewed his poor relatives in Kenya and determined why Barack Obama has not rescued them. Thus there is a terrific lack of balance here."

The McCain camp sent the letter in to FOX News, and the Times maintained its fair coverage of both candidates and story on Cindy McCain responding to FOXNews.com ensuring that they went into depth on investigating the backgrounds of both families.

Frankly, the McCains are just salty concerning the story and trailing in the polls so they want to say that all of this is propaganda for the democratic party…personally, after I read the article, I kinda felt bad for Cindy; it didn’t make me look at her in a negative way. AND it’s not like the McCains are disputing ANY of the facts in the story. So I get it: Cindy doesn’t want her business out…understandable—for the average person...but too bad! You’re the wife of someone who is running for president! Your privacy rights are officially null and void. Get over it. Even those close to her were quoted in the article. Maybe she should talk to them about that or get better/discreet friends.

Anyway perhaps that’ll teach her to stop talking about Michelle Obama (the hottest chick in the game) and her being unpatriotic. Hope Cindy stopped poppin’ those pills. She’s lookin awfully frail and skinny

Sources:

NY Times
Election Fox News

New Chris Brown Video

New Music from Chris Brown and Keri Hilson :

Superhuman

Chris Brown Ft. Keri Hilson - Superhuman [Music Video] [New]
Uploaded by Yannicklord

Making the Band...Aubrey: Before and After

I have been hearing a lot about Diddy releasing Aubrey O’Day and D. Woods from his multiplatinum-selling girl group Danity Kane…well I guess more accurately, he dismissed Aubrey and D.Woods just decided she wasn’t having any of the bullshit with separating their Ebony and Ivory 'clique' as Diddy so eloquently categorized them.

I’ve been watching Making the Band from the very beginning so I suppose you could say I feel a somewhat affinity towards the girls of Danity Kane. And at the time that the group was first made, Aubrey was my favorite (and clearly Diddy’s favorite). However, there are a couple of thoughts I want to express about this whole ordeal:

1. This Aubrey is not the same Aubrey that Diddy first signed. Aubrey used to be a wholesome girl. Now she wants to complain that she aint a hoe…once again, this is coming from someone (me) who liked her the best out of the rest of the group. But ummm I mean she dresses like a slore and acts like a slore…but she’s not a slore? Aubrey, sit down somewhere. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then your hoe ass is a duck…smh I’ve attached a before and after picture (up top) so that you could decide for yourself.
   
2. It’s my personal opinion that Diddy and Aubrey slept together. There was a lot of unnecessary tension and he didn’t have to talk to her the way he did at the season finale. “I like your shirt” should not have been responded by “Babygirl, with your attitude you gon’ end up in a dark and lonely place by yoself.” That was just extra for no reason


3. Dawn is a freakin hater and Q is a b*tch (I think this is self explanatory for those who watch the show)
   
4. Ha, now with all that said I think Diddy had the realest conversation of his life when he said “Aubrey and Aundrea, I’ve never seen you speak. Do ya’ll know each other?” That’s some dysfunctional line type situation…those who need to, will know what I mean by that ;-)

Anyway, Diddy is a publicity whore. There’s another season in the works for Making the Band so I highly doubt that his decision is final. DK will lack the ‘je ne sais quoi’ that D. Woods and Aubrey bring to the group

The truth about Obama according to Maher.

Apparently Maher really is down for the cause, and not just taking a dip in the chocolate fountain. Bill Maher is either an Obama supporter or a McCain hater. He made it apparent on Larry King Live this past Thursday night as he likened Barack Obama to the late great Jackie Robinson, referring to him as the Jackie of politics.
"He's smarter than all of us. He knows what he has to do is just what he did there -- don't take the bait. You know, he -- I keep calling him the Jackie Robinson of American politics...

As the first black guy in baseball, he could not react.

And it's the same with Obama. He cannot make one mistake and he never does. Imagine if he showed up somewhere five minutes late or played into any stereotype that racists think about black people?

They would say oh, well, we can't have a president who's going to be on colored people's time. Come on."

croaked!

Quick... what's the first thing that came to mind?

Welcome

This is the perfect haven for the culturally inclined, who want to hear our spin on life and what’s hot…or what’s not. We will be writing down our philosophies about anything and everything with a chic, urban sensibility--be it our personal experiences, political views, relationships, work-related, movie reviews, and more…it’s sure to be quite an exciting ride and I hope you all enjoy reading our blog as much as we will enjoy writing it!

Welcome to our world of insight!